Have I done any good?

Woke up this morning..after a really long night.  I have been sleeping on the futon mattress that we keep for S's sleep over's..on the floor in the living room.  It all started for one simple reason, the baby was sick.  He couldn't sleep next to M and I, so I slept with him on the futon mattress an entire week..got peed on, pooped on, and thrown up on.  Happy times...and then S got sick the next week, repeat some of the week for E, mainly the throw up and again I was sleeping on the futon..and last week I slept on the dang thing because our two little boys love to kick, hit, pull hair and keep their daddy awake all night if they sleep in our bed. And M needs his rest..he is a happier man if he gets his sleep.  It was just easier to sleep on the futon..and now I am paying for it! That really isn't the reason why I am posting this morning.  One of my really good friends is having a hard time, she and I were talking last night.  I invaded her home, because I needed a short break from mine..we began talking.  And realizing things.  After last night, I would just assume that my day today would be filled with thoughts that would bring me down, or keep me in my melancholy state that I have been in...and then I woke this morning, just ten minutes ago.  A hymn was making itself known in  my some what still sleepy brain...Have I done any good in the world today?  I don't think it's a coincidence this song is in my head right now.  I haven't ever really enjoyed that song..but it's stuck in my head, and I keep hearing the lines, "then wake up and do something more , then dream of your mansion above, doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, a blessing of duty and love"  I always thought this meant work..but it isn't work.  It's doing good for others, because when we forget ourselves, bask in the work of love towards our fellow men, then we are building a stronger foundation.  It's so easy to get caught up in the have not's..it's so easy to forget the good in our lives.  (see my post about the refiner's fire) We are each striving to do our best.  Sometimes, we are doing GREAT, other times, we are struggling.  That is why we have each other...our brothers and sisters in this world. To help build each other up.  Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? I have cheered up the SAD, made someone feel GLAD? Has anyone's burden been lighter today, because I was willing to share? Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way? When they needed my help was I there? I think I am going to strive to do this more often..to ask that question of myself, each day...Have I done any good in the world today?  Try it with me. Let's see what happens!!

Refiner's Fire

I have been thinking a lot lately about what that statement actually means, the refiner's fire.  I suppose I have only thought about it during a church lesson, and I suppose I have only thought it meant that we can only be refined through repentance.  But I no longer believe that is the only case.  I have some issues with some things...like when I am sitting at church, and someone sprouts the whole "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it" quote..(which in Alma, he even states that the way is easy, we only make it hard..)or when someone says "we are only given trials we can handle.."  I don't think these are true.  I have had many trials in my life.  I know many people with very difficult and trying trials..I personally do not think Heavenly Father sits up in heaven and hands out trials.  I don't think he works that way.  If you think about it, if it did work that way, then we would be living Satan's plan, and not our Saviour's plan.  I think that He allows trials to happen.  That is the difference.  I am sure He would love to take away all our trials, He would love to see us happy all the time.  Because he is our heavenly parent, he would want what every parent wants...that their children be free of hardships, he would take away our pain, our heartaches, our suffering, etc.  He would.  Because he loves us.  But because He loves us, he allows life to happen.  he can't take away everything.  The eternal plan does not work that way, at least, that is how I understand it.  So, why do we have trials?  To refine us.  Every single day, we are being refined.  A metal worker doesn't just poke the metal in fire once..no, he allows the metal to get white hot, and then he pounds it, and he pounds it, and shapes it, and then he cools it..and then he repeats the process over until the desired effect is achieved.  That is the same way He works with us.  He shoves us into the fire..or life, and He then he takes us out, reshapes us, cools us down..and repeats the process until we are shaped into perfect beings...Life happens.  It has to happen.  I don't think i asked for my trials, but I am human, so trials will find me.  They will find you too.  We are mortal.  We are born to makes mistakes.  But because he loves us so infinitely, so dearly, he has given us this gospel.  I wish sometimes, that i didn't have my trials.  I wish that He could heal all my hurts, right this minute...but if he did, then I would not progress.  I would be stuck, where I am at now.  I don't want to be stuck.  I want to be refined.  Every single day, I am being refined, you are being refined.  He doesn't want us to be miserable, He wants to take away that pain..whatever pain we feel.  But He can't.  Because he knows better.  Through our trials, we can choose to either be devastated and lost, or we can give ourselves over to Him, and let him help us.  I don't think the Lord made my son have medical problems..I don't think He made my son die.  He had to let life happen.  He had too.  I don't know why I have some of the trials I do.  I don't know why I have to struggle in my marriage, I don't know why some days I want to run away from my life, especially on hard days when it seems like things never stop.  I don't know why...but I know that He has to let them come.  If not, how would I know?  How would I know I will see my son again, if He hadn't allowed the events of Quinn's life to progress as they did?  Sure, he could have healed my son.  he could have.  it would have been a wondrous miracle.  But I wouldn't have understood the sealing power of families..forever families and what that really means.  I wouldn't understand it fully. Back when I was younger and shy, and didn't have a lot of friends, and would sit by myself at lunch time, at my locker feeling lonely and wondering if anyone really loved me, he could have made it so I would always have friends around me.  I could have had a million friends...but then, if I didn't know those feelings of loneliness and shyness, I would be unable to help and understand and identify and sympathize with my own daughter, who is going through the same thing.  Life happens.  It always will.  I will still struggle, I will still have hard times, but I will also know, because of the hard times I have already gone through, that I am being refined.  It might be painful, it will certainly be a test...but I will be made bright, and shaped into his image..his and his alone.