Melancholy and a little homesick..

Today has been a strange and unexpected day. It started out fine, and then a little boy asked who the baby in the picture was..and I explained that it was L's older brother Quinn. I was fine. And then M. cleaned out from under the bed..(glad it was him and not me undertaking that task) and he found my old journal. Interested I start reading. It's the journal from the year Quinn was born. I began reading. I also found the hospital statements. It's a funny kind of day. Melancholy, because there is only so much I can do about days like this. When I am at a loss. I feel that sadness creeping into my veins, the kind that diet coke or chocolate won't wash away. And homesick, because I miss that little boy...sometimes more than I can express. Healing comes. It does. Sometimes the wound is deep, and I feel it keenly. Other times, it's a scratch and I can shrug my shoulders, sigh, say a silent hello to my angel, and move on with my day. Today, it's a sharp pain. Today, I just need a hug, or someone to talk too, who will just understand and tell me that this to will pass.

It's Quiet

It's quiet in my house at this moment and wonders of wonders it's not even bedtime! My honey is sound asleep on our bed. S is in her room, most likely playing with her many horses. L is standing next to me, wondering why he is being left out, and in about five seconds he'll ask me if he can have a bag of chips or cookies and E. Little E is sleeping, hopefully for a long, long time. I enjoy these quiet moments, when all i can hear is the hum of the computer and the sound of the fan..swish, swish. These moments are meant to have inspiring thoughts...wonderful insights...soul searching and profound. Because there are so few times when we have a truly quiet moment. Huh. Nothing much is coming through right now. But I'll let you know when a thought trickles in. :)