Melancholy and a little homesick..

Today has been a strange and unexpected day. It started out fine, and then a little boy asked who the baby in the picture was..and I explained that it was L's older brother Quinn. I was fine. And then M. cleaned out from under the bed..(glad it was him and not me undertaking that task) and he found my old journal. Interested I start reading. It's the journal from the year Quinn was born. I began reading. I also found the hospital statements. It's a funny kind of day. Melancholy, because there is only so much I can do about days like this. When I am at a loss. I feel that sadness creeping into my veins, the kind that diet coke or chocolate won't wash away. And homesick, because I miss that little boy...sometimes more than I can express. Healing comes. It does. Sometimes the wound is deep, and I feel it keenly. Other times, it's a scratch and I can shrug my shoulders, sigh, say a silent hello to my angel, and move on with my day. Today, it's a sharp pain. Today, I just need a hug, or someone to talk too, who will just understand and tell me that this to will pass.