Book of Mormon Stories....

It was decided about a week ago that we should reading the scriptures as a family. Yes, I know, you guys are shocked to find out that we have not been doing that yet. We have been slacking big time! Anyway, last night while we were reading...well, okay, Mike was reading, Sariah was holding Ethan, Luke was looking at a book and singing, and I was folding laundry, but I was listening! I was musing about the events we were reading about. Nephi was exhorting his two horrible brothers, Laman and Lemuel to listen to the Lord and he was asking his brothers why they were doing the things they were doing after all that they had seen and heard and witnessed. All this while being tied up no less! And I was thinking about this. Why were Laman and Lemuel so stubborn? Wouldn't I strive to do better if I had seen and Angel of the Lord? Or heard the voice of the Lord? Or had a father who was a prophet of the Lord? Wouldn't I suddenly change my ways and be a better member of this church? And the more I thought about it, the more that it occurred to me: we are more like Laman and Lemuel then Nephi. How many times has the Lord shown me his power and yet I still persist in my ways? How many times have I heard the answers to my prayers, and yet I still stubbornly seek another answer? I have gone through many things in my life, you would think my testimony would be rock solid and yet I waiver. I waiver on a daily basis. Not in big ways, I go through the motions...but how often am I just going through the motions and not getting anywhere really fast? I have slacked off. It has been a long time since I have actually taken the time to sincerely pray to my Father. I haven't been to the temple in a long, long while. I feel the desire, I feel the burning to go and yet i ignore it and do a worldly activity instead. I have witnessed what happens when you aren't following the gospel teachings. I see it in my attitude towards life, in my perception of this world. I have felt the lack of the spirit in my heart. I am less forgiving, more inclined to anger, my attitude and thoughts are not directed towards the better good. I struggle with my testimony, I struggle with living this gospel sometimes. I wonder if it's really worth it. I have heard and seen and witnessed many things, Just like Laman, just like Lemuel. And just like them, I have tried to do better, and I do for a little while and then I get complacent, I get lazy, and I slip. Not in big ways, no, I haven't tied up anyone, or tried to kill my brother, or blatantly sinned...no. But I have neglected my testimony, I have been doing some of things that are asked of me, but not all. No not all. The thing is, I know. I know what I'm doing. I know what is important. I cannot deny the feelings I have had, the burning of the spirit when gospel principls are being taught. I know. I know there is a heaven, I know there is a Father who loves us. I know that my son, my beautiful baby boy is there...I have felt the Lord's power in my life many, many times. Who am i to deny the things I have felt? So, instead of being a Laman, or a lemuel, I need to become a Nephi. Willing to listen to the Lord, to do the things which the Lord commands. To listen, to strive, to learn and to grow. Build a strong foundation so that when the waves of the world come creeping along my shore, I will be able to withstand their pull.

Good Things

I read a friend's blog and decided that I'd copy her idea (thanks Gail!) So here it goes:

Good Things:

satellites: without them I wouldn't be able to enjoy my shows via Dishnetwork and the lovely invention of DVR so that I can watch my shows commercial free and while my kids are in bed so that I am not interrupted every five minutes.

Microwaves: so that I can prepare a fast meal in minutes before church, otherwise my children would be starved during church. Something about cooking on Sundays.

Cupcakes: I fell in love with cupcakes. Little foils of buttery, moist, heavenly goodness. Trying out new recipes and figuring out that man I'm good at baking! =)

Little piggies to tickle.

Harry Potter. I am currently reading the series again for the tenth time.

Battery Charger..because my car likes to die on me at random and most inconvenient moments.

Costco so that I could buy the battery charger so that my car will start when dead.

Preschool so I can regain my sanity every Tuesday and Thursday.

Bedtime....so I can get some zzzz's

Memories

Memories all alone in the moon light...Well it's not exactly night time yet, i would say early evening. But still. I have been taking a trip down memory lane the past few days. I have been blessed with a very good long term memory. I can remember things from a very early age. If I think about a certain memory long enough, I can remember almost every detail, in detail! =) So, I was thinking about the first day of high school. Strange how it just sticks out like a sore thumb. I find that I remember things from high school when I'm not feeling so great about myself. Perhaps this is because I was so unsure of myself in high school. I had no clue who I was back then...although that is implying that I know who I am now, which in all honesty, I'm still trying to figure out. Anyway, back to the memory. I can't remember what I was wearing, but I remember being really stressed about what to wear because it was so important what others thought of me, and I'm sure not one person thought of me that day! I remember being nervous, and walking the halls wondering how I was ever going to fit in. Trying to find people that I knew, and when I did, discovering that a summer away from school can change people....some wouldn't even acknowledge that they knew me, others weren't there, and still others would not care that I was there. Spending most of the day trying to figure out if I was ever going to find a friend. Walking into my Chemistry class and feeling so out place. Peering at a girl with long brown hair and a brae on her head and thinking she looked cool but not even daring to say hi. And then after lunch, going into choir and sitting by myself suddenly the girl from Chemistry comes and sits by me and says "hey you're in my Chemistry class!" Thank you Brianna for being brave enough to come and say hi to me! That was the beginning of our friendship. I remember being so scared and so concerned about what others would think about me! Wondering if I was ever going to fit in. Discovering that most likely, I would not. Struggling. Boys. Girls. Boys. School. Family, Boys...did I mention, boys? wanting to be liked and realizing that i wasn't. never really sure about who I was, or having the confidence to find out. Anyway. I've taken that first day and found that in some ways, I'm still unsure and scared. But also realizing that I am okay. I don't have to be liked by everyone. Realizing as well that I can make mistakes and that that is alright. It's okay that I make mistakes. Really. It is.

First Entry

I was thinking last night while trying to fall asleep that my first blog should be about my family only, and that i should start another blog that was just for me. A place where i could share my thoughts, feelings, etc. without infringing on my family life. So, the next time I post, it'll be amazingly Emily! =)