Choosing how to react...

I have had an interesting day. I will not go into details. Let's just say I have had better days all around. A while back, my husband had posted an article on our refrigerator. At the time, I was annoyed it was up. The article stated that we are masters of our reaction. That we choose how we are going to react to a situation. It isn't the situation it self that causes problems, it is how we choose to respon. I was annoyed by this article, at first...choosing my reaction. Now it makes more sense. Especially after today. I am not one to voice my opinions lightly. I don't usually tell people how I am really feeling...I am not usually very honest. When asked "how are you doing?" my response will most likely be "alright" "fine" when sometimes, in fact, I am not fine, or alright. I allow things to bother me, yet I refuse to do anything about it. I just simmer...I am a push over. So, today. The situation which presented itself could be reacted too in two very different ways. My first response was to be angry, and to respond in anger. Spout out what I thought was right, justified and a long time coming. I wrote a response three times. Each time, I felt myself getting more and more angry, more and more hurt, and deep down, I knew that I couldn't, wouldn't send my reply. It was not right. I couldn't, in all integrity send any of my messages. I wouldn't have felt right, it would have sat on my shoulders weighing me down for far too long. So, I walked away from the computer, cleaned some of my house. Talked with some friends, and then came back to the situation. I felt at a loss. I didn't know how to react, once the anger subsided. My choice. Ah, the very essence of this report. I ignored my anger, I ignored the indignity of this situation. Although my whole being wanted to fight, shout, say cuss words and just plain be mean had to be swept under the rug, as they say. I had to take the high road. The high road being to not react...I know that we all are placed in situations that call for us to choose. The moment I allowed myself to be angry, was the moment I chose my reaction. But in choosing that anger, and then taking a step back liberated myself from the wrong choice. The snowball effect would have been more like an avalanche if I had gone with my first response and had replied to this situation in anger. Instead, I sit calmly, here at my computer knowing that at least this time, I reacted how I would expect anyone else to react. I want to be a responsible, amiable, caring adult. I hope that I have learned from this day. I hope that in the future when my first response is anger, that i will allow myself the few moments to slow down and think about how my reaction will affect my life, and those lives around me. Because, it might be my life, but it certainly isn't just my life that I affect every time I react. So, maybe tonight I will get the rest I need, and maybe, just maybe things will look better in the morning....