It Happened

The day I thought couldn't possibly come, came.  


It came, and went.


I am grieving the death of my daughter's little girl hood.  She went from this:

to this:

in a matter of 12 short years (can it really be 12 years?) my little girl has grown up.  She is now 5'3 and growing, she is heading into seventh grade...(do you remember seventh grade?  Yeah, and my little girl is going to be living that every day in a week!) She has gone from ignoring boys, to having a crush.  In a lot of ways, she is the same little girl I have loved for 12 years.  She has a tender heart.  She is sweet, and rarely does she get upset.  She is funny.  She still loves horses, but she no longer calls them Fluffy. (and she doesn't run around on all fours like one anymore..) She loves too read, instead of being read too.  She sings, and isn't so off key anymore.  She is still shy, but get that girl excited about DRAMA class and CHOIR,and she becomes someone that is sure of herself, and proud.  She is amazing at the piano, and has a talent I envy. She is a kind and gentle big sister, who loves and watches out for her little brothers, especially Ethan man.  She is excited about the Young Women's program, and survived her first year at camp.  She is 12. TWELVE people! 

When did my baby girl get so big?

anatomy lesson 101

We have been trying to get little man excited about potty training.  We bought a special toilet for him, and underwear to match.  We stocked the pantry with his favorite treats for when he sits and or pees on the toilet.  He isn't interested.  We tell him that big boys go potty on the toilet.  He tells me he is mommy's big boy, and then runs away.  We tell him that big boys don't wear diapers and when I convince him to finally put on underwear, he immediately asked for his diaper, and then went pee.  His older brother has kindly taught him lots of words.  Like "butt crack" and "wee wee" and "you can't touch my privates!" So this morning, I was minding my own business, taking um, a potty break and my little man comes strolling in like he owns the place, which, with his big brown eyes, he kind of does, and he looks at me and says "oh mommy you on the toilet. You wipin' your penis?"  Um...I closed and locked the door and had a good laugh.  Now, if I can just convince him that he is big enough to potty like everyone else, and that he doesn't want to wear diapers anymore, we will be heading down the diaper free highway of life.  And hopefully without awkward questions from my son.

What Would You Do?

Something happened today that has me on edge.  I am usually an accommodating person.  I am polite, I am kind.  I use the manners my parents taught me.  And I respect my elders.  That all went out the window today.  I'll explain.  I am making a simple project for a sister's birthday party.  I had to run to the fabric store.  Joanne's no less.  I had not realized that the store was closing and moving to a new location, so I found some fabric for Sariah's Halloween costume. I had taken my three kids with me.  Usually they are pretty good, which is why I can take them in public.  I am not bothered by kids around me.  I am use to them.  They are good kids.  Anyway, I am standing there, waiting for my fabric to be cut.  My little man, E, was behind me, running in a tight circle, he was singing a little loudly, his nonsense song, it was turning into a higher pitched squeal.  It was not a scream.  Suddenly, a older lady comes up to me and says "Is this your child?"  and points to my cute boy, who was still running in a circle, a small, tight circle behind me.  "yes" I reply, thinking I was going to hear a compliment, it usually happens, right?  Nope.  "Would you tell him to be quiet?  His noise is hurting my ears.  He is disturbing the other costumers and myself" she said very rudely.  I looked at her, and felt my heart stop.  What do I do?  I still had to wait to get my fabric cut, it was going to take at least another five minutes.  Now, usually, I would have been polite, and would have said, of course, I'll try and keep him quiet, blah blah.  but it that small amount of time, I thought, he isn't doing anything wrong.  So I replied "No, I'm not going to keep him quiet.  He's fine, he's having fun, and he isn't doing anything wrong"  She started in on me.  Telling me that everyone in the store was annoyed by my child, and she was the only one who had the nerve to tell me so.  I looked around, most everyone else was minding their own buisness, and one grandma even winked at me.  "Well, I'm not keeping him quiet."  She huffed and while walking away, to the CHECK OUT STAND where her cart was, she kept telling me what she thought.  She had been in the check out line.  The same grandma who winked at me was taking care of a grandson, who was busy pulling things off of a shelf, and causing a lot more harm on the aisle than Ethan had been doing, dancing behind me.  He hadn't done anything wrong.  He wasn't running around the store, or pulling on things, he was tugging on strangers, or screaming at the top of his lungs.  He was entertaining himself, behind me, right next to me.  He was right next to me.  And she had the nerve to tell me to keep my child quiet?  What would you do?  Would you have told your kids to be quiet?  Would you have been polite?  She hadn't even tried to be nice at all.  I think she expected me to do what she said, and what?  Chain my child to my side, and duct tape my three year old's mouth so that he can't disturb someone out in PUBLIC? The lady helping me was still cutting fabric, and Ethan was getting more restless, I was trying to keep him quiet, so I handed Sariah the car keys and told her to take him outside.  I could see the mean old lady standing there, talking to her daughter, and I knew from the glances she was giving me, that she was talking about me.  Seriously, what would you have done?  It was the first time I ever wanted to call someone a swear word.  And my children, they were shocked by that lady as well.  they talked about it on the ride home.  And they talked about it while we were eating lunch.  I don't know if what I did was right, but it sure didn't feel wrong at the moment!

Home Again, Home again, jiggty jig.

My kiddos and I were able to catch a ride up to great Salt lake valley and spend a week vegging out at my parents house.  It was exactly what the doctor ordered.  I didn't have a car, so I spent a lot of time just chilling at the house I spent most of my formidable years.  we ventured to the park up the street, and it was slightly scary.  There is a skate park there now, lots of interesting people converge there.  We ate lots of junk food, I gained about five pounds.  We drank diet coke, and by we, I mean me.  We were spoiled.  Sariah and I went on a girls night with my sisters and Mom and watched Snow White and the Huntsmen, and surprising, Kristen Stewart did pretty well.  I would say she redeemed herself.  I wasn't a fan of the vampire movies. (gasp)  We went and played with cousins, and I relaxed, a lot.  I got to listen to Sariah play on a piano, all day.  Ethan discovered he liked the piano too, and would even sing.  he sounded like a cat dying a slow and slightly painful death.  I tried video taping it, he saw me and stopped.  Good Old Roy.  We of course, had to get a sandwich and donut from the Hole, because that is tradition.  The bread, oh my.  The donuts, oh my.  And it was donut day, of all days.  We enjoyed the cooler weather.  My daddy kindly brought us back home.  The nice, cool weather slowly warmed up, until the red sand reflected the heat we felt as we climbed out of the car.  It was hot.  HOT, and it was the first time I though to myself, why do I live here?  It's so dang hot!

How's your summer going so far?

Events take place even when we don't want them too.

Summer is coming up.  Luke asks me every day if it's summer yet.  I keep telling him NO.  Because I don't want it to be summer.  At least, not yet.  I'm not ready for the heat, or for a house full of kids.  Not ready. Let me tell you why, least you think I do not love my children, or that I don't want them around, because I do.  REALLY.

Luke will be heading for first grade.  That means he isn't so little anymore.  He will be turning seven.  He will going to school all day, leaving me home all day with his little brother, who I will have to entertain by myself.  All day.  he will be eating lunch at school, which stresses him out.  He will also be asking me every day if we can go swimming.  Which means I have to squeeze my sorry self into my bathing suit, every day.

Sariah will be heading into seventh grade.  She will also be joining the Young Women's program.  I am in denial.  I do not have a child that is that old.  Or that tall.  I have to hide her from the eyes of peering teenage boys.  I feel like shouting to them, whilst hiding Sariah behind my large rear end.."Stop checking her out, sick-o, she is only 11!"  soon to be 12.  Twelve.   I remember myself at 12.  I was a nightmare.  I was also very boy crazy, and didn't stop being boy crazy, until maybe yesterday?  She will also tell me every day that she is bored.  Although, judging by the tornado that crashed in her room, I don't think she will bored for too long.

Ethan.  Ethan with the brown eyes, and silly grin. He will be teasing his brother, and getting himself into all sorts of trouble.  Luke and Ethan while they love each other, fight tooth and sometimes nail.  And the bugger doesn't like the pool.

But, I am sure this summer will be fun.  And to kick it off, we are spending a very much needed week with my parents.  I need to be home, just for a little while.  Hopefully I am not the only one who misses home, even though I am 32 and have a home of own.  Sometimes, a girl just needs her mommy.

an ode to salad

Every time I make up a weekly menu, I never put salad as one of the items.  But when I go the store, I pick some lettuce up.  With the intention that you know, lettuce is good.  It's obliging.  You can put almost anything on it and it works.  Fruit, vegetables, cheese, heck, even chips.  Right?  So I buy it.  I even get organic lettuce.  I feel so virtuous when I buy it too.  Like I am doing the world a favor when I buy organic lettuce.  The world is thanking me, I think.  And I come home and place that plastic box of virtue in my chiller.  And it sits there.  And sits there.  And I look at it when I open my fridge, and I think, I really don't like lettuce.  Every time.  A week goes by, and I make the planned meals, and we eat them.  And i think, maybe I should make a salad?  But I don't really like salad.  No, I'll just make something else.  So I do.  And the poor lettuce.  It just sits there.  Until two weeks has gone by and I finally pick it up, and look at it.  Because it has gone slimy, and brown.  And I think, well that was a waste of three dollars.  I throw the blasted thing away.  And I not longer feel virtuous.  I have no longer given the world any kind of gift.  Just another plastic container to sit in a landfill.  And I slightly twinge.  I really don't like salad.  Maybe I should just stop buying it.  We have a lettuce patch in our back yard, I have a sinking feeling my husband will want to eat lettuce at every meal.  Lettuce.  Which means salad.  And seriously, I really don't like salads.  :)

A little bit of yogurt in my life.

Tonight, I had the greatest pleasure of taking my two oldest out on a little date.  It wasn't long, and we didn't really do much.  We went to get Menchies frozen yogurt.  Luke picked out...Vanilla.  He loves vanilla ice cream.  I can't get that kid to taste any other kind.  Sariah had chocolate and vanilla, swirled.  They both topped their yogurt with candy, some fruit and called it good.  I had got my cake batter, and some dark chocolate chips, and some weird fruit popper things, which my kids ate.

 We sat in the car and talked.  We talked about school, and Luke told us about his kindergarten class and how he listened today.  We talked about when I met Mike, and how we kissed.  (Sariah thought that was gross)  We went on a little drive and saw the house our friends are building.  My kids told me they wanted a huge house like that one day.

We came home, and Ethan ran up to me and wouldn't let me go.  He clung to me like I had left for days.  He has been doing that a lot lately.  It was nice to spend time with my kiddos.  They are funny and charming.  They have some more silly quirks, and they make me laugh.

I needed this little date with my two older kids.  I needed that re-connection with them.  I love how Luke laughs, his laugh is so silly and deep.  Sariah is turning into a Young Women, the last of her little girl-ness has gone, suddenly.  I look at her, and I see the woman she will be in a few short years.  I cherish this moment.  Eating frozen and some what expensive yogurt.  Fighting over who ate the last fruit popper, and what they really are made of.  Ah, motherhood.